Walking around

Oh... my head...
When it comes to this state I think I could sleep for the next 3 months, but I would get bored in meanwhile then I'll be more and more exhausted ... what a relief -_-

My dream and desire of making plenty of pictures that could become awesome in one year has succeded I think I'm quite better than before, I know I "can" make great things but I don't always know how they'll begin, is it the same for every artists... Obviously not :/

I know that if I first don't know what I'll be drawing, it'll become strange, special, ugly, irregular, unique, or great ( who knows ). If I train a lot, this style could be more and more special all of this because I don't want to "copy" others...

But still and always the "methods"; things I've create were all experiments, nobody told me how to do them and it always get confusing... Actually in all the things I do, the way I speak or act, everything "confuse" my entourage ( circle ). Some time I do think it's funny to always confuse others without wanting to but when I see others who make huge things ( just one for some of them ) which took them a lot of time ( sometimes this thing is their entire life ) I feel all miserable and wish I could make something that could stun someone ( including me )... :/

And now that I speak ( or write ) about it, I'm just losing it, even the things that were quite good to me without being awesome, I'm losing it...

When ? Why ? Where this magic thing have gone ?
Was it when I first try to forget someone without success...
Was it because I am not good at it... mmmm this blog is losing it too ...

First, I gotta change this holy music that have been played for some weeks now ... I think I need to put "Stranger things"...